Monday, April 15, 2013

Maybe one day...

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Monday, April 8, 2013

Things a 6 year old boy should not have to ask.

Jack came to sit with me & then asked me when John's birthday is. I replied to him, telling him the date (its a few months away).

Then he asks 'Can we celebrate daddy's birthday, even though he died? That's ok right?'

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The empty space you should be filling

Just another poem that seems so appropriate to my situation.  I miss you so much, John.

I have not felt you
for so many days,
so many nights.
I have sat next to a stranger,
I have held the hand of ghost.
I have kissed the lips of a phantom
And I have put my arm around
The empty space
you should be filling.

- Tyler Knott Gregson

Monday, April 1, 2013

There's someone missing...

I took a picture with the kids yesterday for Easter.  It hurts my heart to take "family" pictures without John.  Its like there is always someone missing from the picture.  I can pretty much just see him right in there, where he should be- next to me.  But there is no John there.  There will never be John there again.  I hate that, its not right.  But I dont want to not have group pictures for occasions, so we took one anyway.