Love has gone and left me

Love has gone and left me and the days are all alike;
      Eat I must, and sleep I will, — and would that night were here!
But ah! — to lie awake and hear the slow hours strike!
      Would that it were day again! — with twilight near!

Love has gone and left me and I don’t know what to do;
      This or that or what you will is all the same to me;
But all the things that I begin I leave before I’m through, —
      There’s little use in anything as far as I can see.

Love has gone and left me, — and the neighbors knock and borrow,
      And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse, —
And to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow
      There’s this little street and this little house.

The empty space you should be filling

Just another poem that seems so appropriate to my situation.  I miss you so much, John.

I have not felt you
for so many days,
so many nights.
I have sat next to a stranger,
I have held the hand of ghost.
I have kissed the lips of a phantom
And I have put my arm around
The empty space
you should be filling.

- Tyler Knott Gregson

Its been 4 weeks

I love the work of Tyler Knott.  He posts a lot of things that are so relevant to how I am feeling right now.  Even more so was he placed this over a picture of the ocean.  John and I loved the beach.  So I saw this one and had to put it here. It describes how I feel so aptly.

Its been 4 weeks today since John passed.  I hate Thursdays now, because he passed on a Thursday. Each Thursday is just a reminder of what I lost that day.  I actually used to like Thursdays. Now I dread them, or at best just wish I could skip over every Thursday.

(from tylerknott.com)

I dont like my days without you.

It truly sucks that I cant be with my husband every day these days. We arent far away from each other- he sits in a hospital bed probably 5 miles from me. I sit at work. If you wouldve asked me even MONTHS ago if I wouldve wanted to spend all day with him most days, I wouldve looked at you like you were crazy. When you suddenly become aware of the loudly ticking clock counting down the years, days, months of your loved one's life...sometimes you take on a new perspective or feel a different way. I'm finding that out the hard way.